Digitized Flirting is a Good Thing

After another long day of being a college student, Despoina was left with a pounding headache, which only a good night’s sleep would fix. With the autumnal breeze caressing her face, she escaped from her bedsheets’ heaviness, amid a calming darkness that only the starlight cut through and was falling fast asleep forgetting her day’s worries. At this stage it was past midnight, however her phone’s buzzing sound was scraping her eardrums uncontrollably.

Intrusive thoughts ran wild in her mind telling her it wasn’t just her friend sending her meaningless Tiktoks but the friend request from the crush she had been waiting for all along.  

Nowadays, Despoina’s experience illustrates the dating norm for most young adults. Mariah Espada, reporter of Time magazine reveals that, “The majority of Gen Z and millennials are online, so it’s no surprise they’ve taken their dating life to the internet.” Even though this behavior has been characterized as abnormal by those craving a face-to-face flirting approach, social media can offer a fresh perspective that people could often benefit from.

According to Dr. Joni Meenagh, a professor at the RMIT school of Global, Urban and Social Studies, societal rules dictate our flirting behavior, however these haven’t fully bled through to online platforms yet. The creative freedom social media allows curates a playful environment where anything is expected. The buzzing excitement provoked resembles the butterflies one feels when flirting in real life. Additionally, in an environment where binary gender roles don’t apply, heterosexual women are often empowered to hold an active role in their dating life and initiate romantic interactions. Despoina agrees and comments that, “I would never make the first move in real life. Online, I would consider it.”

As an introvert herself, Despoina shares her struggle to approach people and for that she is grateful that online platforms exist. Dr. Joni Meenagh validates Despoina’s feelings and frames online platforms as safety nets that ease the pain of rejection. This digital environment, therefore, fills young people with confidence and motivation to put themselves out there since, “you can play it off if things don’t go to plan,” Despoina explains. With the absence of body language and facial expressions in written communication, people can tailor the conversation based on the initial response of the receiver.

Overall, experiences on social media and online platforms have equipped college students like Despoina with the means necessary to fully take advantage of social media’s strengths to enhance their dating life. While inviting more close-knit, introverted people to make the first move without consequences, social media are also here to give them the opportunity to challenge societal norms that limit or disavow an individual’s experiences.